Rebellion

Do you know these presents you make for someone in particular. But when it actually comes to finishing them, you realise that they turned out so amazingly good that you'd rather keep them for yourself because your heart got so attached to them. All your effort, all your love, all your ideas flew into that one tiny thing and then only within a few seconds you hand it over to someone else.

I created such a thing.
He's at the airport by now, so no chance of him seeing this post before I can actually give him his Christmas present. Nonetheless, I want to keep it. Or give it to someone else so that it's always close to me.

Counting Down the Hours

Well, reminiscing entry? Rear-view mirror entry? hm. I should I guess.
but this time I'll do it the proper way.

A summary of 2008. A Sampler.

The Decemberists - Los Angeles I'm Yours
The year started off with yet another Decemberists concert, although I have to say that this song changed its meaning once I actually set foot in Los Angeles for the first time this summer. Either way, still one of my favourites of all time, not to speak of this year.

Oasis - She's Electric
Berlin Beach Camp 2008. My tent mate Marcello with his guitarr, the two of us sitting in the sand, horrible singers but still attracted two other guitarr players, one banjo, one tambourine and uncountable other singers. Unique memory, indescribable feeling.

Death Cab For Cutie - Marching Bands Of Manhatten

Sarah Barellis - Love Song
On the road somewhere around Los Angeles. And then again on the way to Three Rivers. And again in Redondo Beach. Also up in San Luis Obispo. And of course, while driving across the Golden Gate Bridge. This song basically follwed me around California.

CSS - Alala
Together with MGMT, a band I discovered in San Fransisco thanks to my host Gabe. Although I have to say I knew CSS before, tho never really got into them until I listened to their music on the way to Oakland.

MGMT - Kids
Me: What's that?
Gabe: MGMT, you'll like it. If not, we can change it.
Me: okay.
And I did like it.

Weezer - Troublemaker
Scene: in the passenger seat of Gabe's car, driving through Berkeley. Gabe showing this song to one of his friends. I discovered Weezer's red album a second time. First time being Pork and Beans while in Torrance, although this song didn't make it on the 2008 list.

Blonde Redhead - 23
Artsy band, it took me about two years to get into them, this song finally made me change my opinion. Also discovered in San Fransisco.

Kelly Clarkson - Addicted
Embarrassing? No. I like this song. And it did help me through a lot of stuff so far.

Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart

KT Tunstall - Saving My Face

Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts

Peter Bjoern And John - Up Against The Wall

Christmas is all around.

Writing an essay about Christmas couldn't be a good idea in the first place. By now, the somehow second day I sit in front of the screen and try to get at least a bit of motivation together, all I feel is anger and hatred towards this freaking holiday. I hate Christmas. Things would never change. But why the hell do I now even have to write a stupid essay about it? 1000 words. I'm trying to include Billingham and Barney in it, so I can at least focus a bit on two artists, but seriously, an essay about Christmas? What did I think when saying yes to Matt's idea? Damn me. I hate this.

The Golden State Wins Again.

It's been one week in Germany now. And I achieved nothing. I've done nothing. I haven't thought of anything. Nothingness. Everywhere. No ideas for the essay. No idea for the interview preparation. No inspiration, no motivation, no nothing for my documentary project. Idea exists, yes, but I cannot get my butt up an actually go out shooting. Forgot my remote control in Bournemouth, I really hope Amazon gets the new one to me by Wednesday. Because the only good image I have so far, of my grandma is blurry. Damn long exposures. But it's a really nice shot, nonetheless.
As for future, I started thinking about the Final Major Project, although I know I should first finish this stage. And there are still loads of projects coming up. And I talked to my mom about London. She also thinks it's better for me to get a flat for three straight years instead of just getting a new one every year. I mean, as long as I don't have more than two other flatmates, and it actually is a flat (never ever am I going to rent a room in a house again) and as long as it has wooden floor, or anything that isn't that funny smelling carpet I'm happy. Oh, and close to some high street please. But it's London, there are always going to be some exotic fruit and veg stores around, somewhere. Yes, London feels good right now. I think I'll abandon Glasgow. Camberwell fells right at the moment. Well, and Calarts? yes, it's still first choice.
It's been some bad past days for me, both professionally and personally. But I'll get over it somehow. Essay is waiting. And translations, my uncle isn't the nicest person either. At least at the moment. I just want to go back to Uni. But keep on living here.

Ash and Smoke

Tomorrow is the last day of Uni for this year, time to recap? Maybe.

But I won't do that now. Instead, some photographic work from the one day documentary project yesterday (Wednesday).
I focused on the interference of humans/industry with nature. Having three hours to work on the project I went to the Sainsbury's between Bournemouth and Poole, and well, I think I did okay. I should have used the remote for the camera as all of my images turned out a bit shaky, but in the end I'm quite satisfied with my series. Oh, and my first photographic essay. Be proud of me.


















































































New project launch is tomorrow. I have ideas, but at the same time no clue whether I can use them or not because they are slightly more fine art based than documentary and the whole project would be staged. So honestly, no idea. Updates on that at a later point, obviously.
For now I am off to London on Saturday morning, bye bye Bournemouth, I cannot express how happy I am about leaving England.

Love & Communication

It's Christmas in my room.

Either way, for the first time in years, I am excited about going home. And about Christmas. Which might stand in connection to going home, but it's a feeling I cannot recall having for a long time. Being excited about Christmas is different when you are a child. Everything you care for are the presents, the attention you are getting. Once you grow up you realise that Christmas is about other things. People who usually don't care for each other start paying attention to the other, only for one evening, only for a couple of hours. These times also mostly result in fights, at least that's how my Christmas always ends up. Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. But the fight is programmed. Reasons might be the general fucked up family structure, but honestly I believe it's the pressure. Never is the whole family together except for Christmas. If you think about it, it's actually quite pathetic. My family consists of five people, including me, and we never manage to get together for another time than Christmas. Yeah, eventually we make it for some birthday, but that happens once every two years, if we're lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you see it).
This post is getting slightly off topic.

So back to art stuff.
I've been rescucitating my dawanda shop which resulted in some nice new work. I added some cards, a bookmark and some of the prints I've done at uni.
Route A choices are final now. It's going to be London Metropolitan as a backup, University of Westminster, London College of Communication and University of East London. All for a pure BA Photography course. Still undecided about Route B: either Camberwell or Glasgow, but I honstely have no idea. Might end up going to Glasgow again to get a better idea of living there.
But now back to my room and my mission for today: Find the blu-tack which has disappeared for some reason. And I really need it.